A topic the doctors don’t bring up

Everyone knows that Parkinson’s Disease causes uncontrollable shaking. Your friends know why you shake but the average person doesn’t. This is something someone with this issue can’t stop without deep concentration and focus. Even then only for a few seconds, a minute at best. If stressed, excited, or the like it’s nearly impossible not to shake. Especially when your focus is on trying to do something like tying your shoes, sign your name at the bank, or take a piss.  Which brings us to the topic, “A topic the doctors don’t bring up”.

Sure, doctors bring up shaking. But they don’t tell you or explain how it may be perceived in certain scenarios. The particular scenarios I’ve personally experience regularly are using urinals in a public restroom, sitting in a restaurant or theater with hands in lap, and walking in public with hands in my pockets. What’s wrong with that you ask? Nothing should be right? Well, many people tend to jump to a conclusion that you are doing something inappropriate such as masturbating. Now in their defense it can look as though you may be. I’ve seen people look at me disgusted or walk the other way. I often feel like someone is going to see this and cause a scene. This makes you shake even more. It is even more exasperating when children are around mainly because parents can be very protective of their children and not stop to ask why you appear that way before attacking you. Thankfully this hasn’t happened to me, yet.

This has made me very self-conscious. Up till now I have tried hard not to appear certain ways. I tend to try and keep my hands to my side or on the table if at a restaurant but when using a public restroom urinal, it’s not possible. I try not to look as though I may be doing something inappropriate but often fail. This has been the most stressful part of dealing with my Parkinson’s Disease.

I have decided to try and stop worrying about what others who don’t know me “think” I am doing. I’m going to do what is comfortable for me. Though easier said than done. I’m going to try and not care what a stranger is thinking. If they have a problem thinking I am doing something wrong, they can call 911 or get the store manager etc. I’m going to be me.